How to Talk with Your Parent about Their Health

Your caregiving journey may not begin because of a gradual decline in your parent’s physical or mental health. Instead, it can start suddenly — in the blink of an eye — a car accident, a stroke, a heart attack or another medical emergency.

The more information you can give to the EMTs and emergency room doctors, the faster they can provide the right kind of care for your parent. Without that information, doctors might only be guessing about what care would be most appropriate.

Everyone — including you — should have an up-to-date written copy of their complete health history that includes:

• their major illnesses, hospitalizations and medical conditions;

• the medications they take (prescription drugs, over-the-counter drugs such as aspirin, antacids, herbal remedies, nutritional supplements — even daily multi-vitamins);

• all food and medication allergies; and

• the names, phone numbers and addresses of their doctors and pharmacy.

They should take a copy with them every time they go to a doctor, the emergency room, are admitted into a hospital, or visit any other type of medical facility.

Talking to your parent about their health can be far easier said than done. Expressing your concerns is certainly one way to start. But, be careful to express your concerns in a way that does not patronize or embarrass your parent. Above all, don’t use phrases like “You need to …” or “I need you to …” or “You have to …”.

If you feel that you can’t ask your parent directly, try an indirect approach, something like:

“When I was in to see my doctor [a few days ago] [last month], he asked me some questions about my family health history that I didn’t have the answers for. Do you have a few minutes to talk about it?”

At this point, be prepared for some push-back (resistance), such as:

“If this is so darned important, why haven’t you done anything about it for yourself?”

If that happens, you’ll need to show just how important you believe this information is. The best way is to prepare your own health history before you ask your parent to do theirs. (Every time I take mine in for a doctor’s appointment, they say, “I wish all of my patients did this.”) Simply said, it helps them help you. It also helps prevent medical errors. (Plus, instead of filling out all of the same details over and over again on doctors’ forms, it’s so nice to be able to write in “See Attached” instead of getting writer’s cramps.)

Take this information with you every time you go with your parent to visit a doctor, go to the emergency room, be admitted into a hospital, assisted living facility, nursing home or visits any other type of medical facility.

I keep my records and my wife’s records in separate Word documents on my laptop computer. They are easy to update after every medical appointment and to print out a copy for each new medical appointment.

Here’s what a shortened version of mine looks like.

Don’t worry about filing in all of the information before your next visit with your parent, but do complete it as soon as you can. You never know what specific information will be the most important in an emergency.

Michael R. Gamble
6292 Aventura Drive
Sarasota, FL 34241-9447
941-921-7060

Medications:
Atorvastatin (Lipitor) — 10mg — Dr. xxxx — 1 per day at BEDTIME — lower LDL (bad chloresterol)
Spiriva Handihaler — Dr. xxxx — 1 capsule (18 mcg tiotropium bromide powder) per day — mild COPD (Emphysema).
Aspirin — 81mg — Dr. xxxy — 1 tablet per day (blood thinner)
Vitamin B-12 — Dr. xxxz — 1,000mg tablet daily with breakfast — to lower LDL cholesterol.
Fish Oil — 1,200mg — Dr. xxxz — 3 capsules per day (1 per meal) — to raise HDL and lower triglycerides.

Hospitalizations:
2015 (9/20) – Seizure, Tonic-clonic (Grand Mal) — Hospitalized 9/20 to 9/30, xxxx Memorial Hospital, Sarasota, FL (unknown cause) — MRI brain scan, results normal
2012 (12/12) — Atrial Flutter Cardiac Ablation — Dr. xxyy — xxxx Memorial Hospital (discharged 12/13)

Chronic Medical Conditions:
Ongoing — Very Sensitive Gag Reflex to Intubation
2005 — Mild COPD / Emphysema diagnosed — Dr. xxzz — 2/15 chest xray, xxxx Hospital — 6/2 CAT scan, xxxx Radiology

Other Medical Conditions / Surgeries / Tests:
2012 (11/19) — Atrial Fibrillation — Dr. xxxy
2011 — Hernia (Inguinal) repaired surgically (right side)

Allergies / Adverse Reactions to Medications:
Duricef (antibiotic) — Intense chills, diarrhea, abdominal cramps, frequent urination

Immunizations:
Flu (Oct 2018), Pneumonia (Nov 2017)

Other relevant medical information:
NO CLOSED MRI to be done.

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—  Each of Your Parent’s Forms Should Include —

At the top of the form: Your parent’s name and current address

Personal Medical History:

• Medications (including prescriptions, over-the-counter medications, vitamins and other supplements)
  • name
  • dosage
  • take with food or between meals?
  • time of day to take
  • prescribing doctor’s name (if applicable)
  • purpose of medication

• Hospitalizations
  • date (start with the most recent date)
  • reason for hospitalization
  • name of hospital
  • admitting physician’s name

• Chronic Medical Conditions
  • date of diagnosis (start with the most recent date)
  • diagnosing physician
  • current status (active, in remission, etc.)

• Other Medical Conditions / Surgeries / Tests (ncluding xrays, CT scans and MRIs)
  • date (start with the most recent date)
  • name of condition, surgery, test
  • name of physician
  • results

• Allergies / Adverse Reactions to Medications
  • for allergies (including food allergies), describe
  • for medications, name and description of adverse reaction

• Immunizations – Flu, Pneumonia, Shingles, Tetanus, etc.
  • name of immunization
  • date of most recent

Emergency Contacts

Full Name
Street Address, City, State, Zip
Home Phone
Smart Phone ICE (Have “In Case of Emergency” numbers been set up/)

Physicians and Pharmacy

Full Name and Medical Specialty
Street Address, City, State, Zip
Office Phone
Fax Number

Family Medical History (Mother, Father, Brother(s), Sister(s), Children,
Aunt(s), Uncle(s):

• First Name
• Relationship
• If Alive
  • age now
  • major health conditions
• If Dead
  • age at death
  • cause of death
  • major health conditions

Any other relevant medical information, e.g., No CLOSED MRI to be done.

Caution: Don’t share your parent’s information with your siblings, unless your parent gives you their explicit permission. Otherwise, you’d violate your parent’s confidential disclosure to you and risk shutting off any further discussions of the matter.

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