Some people will stop at almost nothing to take advantage of you emotionally and sometimes physically. Boundaries can be your best defense. Here’s how to set effective boundaries. … Continue Reading →
As often happens, there are underlying causes for what appears to be denial. And, we won’t make any progress toward helping our aging parents unless we understand those reasons. For example: Embarrassment — They’re uncomfortably self-conscious because they can’t do things they used to do with ease. They may be embarrassed because they need help using the toilet or taking a shower — activities that are very personal and private. Perhaps they’re embarrassed because they’re in trouble financially — they can’t afford the food or medications they need — they can’t afford to buy new clothes or have their house repaired. … Continue Reading →
Quality of Life includes all physical, psychological and social aspects of a person’s life. Here’s how all 6 aspects interact. … Continue Reading →
Sooner or later, most caregivers learn that they can no longer “do it all” and still find time for themselves, much less their families. A big part of self-care isn’t always about doing something for yourself, but also by saying no to things that drain you.
Make this commitment to yourself: Your “me” time is essential and non-negotiable. Organize … Continue Reading →
Asking for help is hard for a lot of complicated reasons. Sometimes, as caretakers, we don’t feel entitled to ask for help. Or, we’re embarrassed because “it would look like we can’t handle the job.”
Especially if you feel that you’re “on duty” 24 hours a day, see if a trusted friend or family member can share in the care duties. Or, consider using respite care services from a home health agency or adult day services. … Continue Reading →
Here are the best educational resources for the major types of dementia. … Continue Reading →
Sooner or later, nearly everyone feels this one. It’s completely natural, and nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about.
Caregivers often feel overwhelmed — that they’ve lost control over their lives — that they’re constantly “winging it” because of fast changing, unpredictable priorities — that their days are full of unknowns, self-doubts and questions like, “Am I doing the right thing?”
Worry is the way we try to cope with our fear of the unknown — and of potentially bad outcomes. The question is: “Does worry work for you or does it make you miserable?”
Productive worry leads to to-do lists of actions we can take, even if the list includes only one solution for each thing we worry about. Unproductive worry is about things we can’t do anything about — and keeps us from enjoying other aspects of our lives. … Continue Reading →
Why can it be so difficult to talk to our elderly parents? And, what can we do about it, especially when personal — sometimes taboo — topics need to be discussed — their health, their driving capabilities, their money, moving into a smaller home or assisted living facility — things we will probably all face at some point in our lives. … Continue Reading →
I remember the conversations I had with my mother early in 2001. I can’t believe I was so naive! Dad had just passed away and Mom hadn’t driven for 5 years. She had mild vascular dementia and was on heavy-duty pain medication for severe lower-back pain. Because my sisters and I lived more than 1,000 miles away, we hired a caregiver to be with Mom from early morning until she went to bed, 7 days a week. … Continue Reading →