Our Aging Parents

"If only I'd known ... I would have done things differently!"

Caregivers’ Bookshelf

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Kindle Reader for Cargivers' Bookshelf
We highly recommend these books and DVDs for family caregivers. Arranged by topic, we’ve noted which books are also available in a Kindle edition (most are).

 

Aging Parents | Eldercare

#1 Best Seller – Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End [affiliate link], In Being Mortal, bestselling author Atul Gawande tackles the hardest challenge of his profession: how medicine can not only improve life but also the process of its ending

In the inevitable condition of aging and death, the goals of medicine seem too frequently to run counter to the interest of the human spirit. Nursing homes, preoccupied with safety, pin patients into railed beds and wheelchairs. Hospitals isolate the dying, checking for vital signs long after the goals of cure have become moot. Doctors, committed to extending life, continue to carry out devastating procedures that in the end extend suffering.

Gawande, a practicing surgeon, addresses his profession’s ultimate limitation, arguing that quality of life is the desired goal for patients and families. Gawande offers examples of freer, more socially fulfilling models for assisting the infirm and dependent elderly, and he explores the varieties of hospice care to demonstrate that a person’s last weeks or months may be rich and dignified.

Full of eye-opening research and riveting storytelling, Being Mortal asserts that medicine can comfort and enhance our experience even to the end, providing not only a good life but also a good end. Kindle and paperback editions also available.

My Family Record Book: The Easy Way to Organize Personal Information, Financial Plans, and Final Wishes for Seniors, Caregivers, Estate Executors, etc. [affiliate link], My Family Record Book is a complete step-by-step guide that will help you keep track of and organize: final wishes & arrangements, computer information and passwords, estate planning documents, employment records, insurance policies, tax records, retirement accounts, government benefits, real estate records, house maintenance and more!
Kindle edition. Paperback edition also available.

Creating Moments of Joy for the Person with Alzheimer’s or Dementia: A Journal for Caregivers, Fourth Edition [affiliate link] The author, Jolene Brackey, has a vision — a vision that will soon look beyond the challenges of Alzheimer’s disease and focus more of our energy on creating moments of joy. When a person has short-term memory loss, his life is made up of moments. But if you think about it, our memory is made up of moments, too. We are not able to create a perfectly wonderful day with someone who has dementia, but it is absolutely attainable to create a perfectly wonderful moment; a moment that puts a smile on their face, a twinkle in their eye, or triggers a memory. Five minutes later, they won’t remember what you did or said, but the feeling you left them with will linger.
Kindle edition available

How to Care for Aging Parents, 3rd Edition: A One-Stop Resource for All Your Medical, Financial, Housing, and Emotional Issues [affiliate link] How to Care for Aging Parents is an authoritative, clear, and comforting source of advice and support for the ever-growing number of Americans — now 42 million — who care for an elderly parent, relative, or friend. Now, in its third edition, it is completely overhauled and updated, chapter-by-chapter and page-by-page, with the most recent medical findings and recommendations.
Kindle edition available

Coping With Your Difficult Older Parent : A Guide for Stressed-Out Children [affiliate link]

Do You Have An Aging Parent Who:
  • Blames you for everything that goes wrong?
  • Cannot tolerate being alone, wants you all the time?
  • Is obsessed with health problems, real, or imagined?
  • Makes unreasonable and/or irrational demands of you?
  • Is hostile, negative and critical?

For the first time, here’s a common-sense guide from professionals, with more than two decades in the field, on how to smooth communications with a challenging parent. Filled with practical tips for handling contentious behaviors …
Kindle edition available

How To Say It (R) to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders [affiliate link] The author, David Solie, explains the new challenges seniors face — often alone, as peers and spouses die — and the twin conflicts they must come to terms with — the need for control and the need to let go. Walking us through their worlds — worlds that, if we’re honest, we can’t but guess at — Solie gently prods us to reevaluate WHY we are communicating so poorly and how we can improve. In the end, it is we who must change, especially our instinct to bully seniors into more comfortable situations (usually for US, but as always, “for their own good”).
Kindle edition available

The Validation Breakthrough, Third Edition [affiliate link] Validation is a practical technique for communicating with and managing problem behavior in older adults with Alzheimer’s. It helps reduce stress, enhance dignity, and increase happiness. Since its inception in 1989, the Validation technique has helped thousands of professional and family caregivers improve their relationships with residents and loved ones.
Kindle edition available

ABA/AARP Checklist for Family Caregivers: A Guide to Making it Manageable [affiliate link] Caregiving is inevitably fraught with complex issues — emotional as well as medical, financial, and legal. The ABA/AARP Checklist for Family Caregivers by Sally Balch Hurme can help you organize the responsibilities that caregivers face. This new book will save you time and simplify the daunting tasks of caregiving. Hurme shows you how to become a trusted steward — without losing your sanity. And if you don’t know where to start, this invaluable tool tells you, step by step, what you need and why.

The Educated Caregiver, Three DVD Set [affiliate link] “The Educated Caregiver” is an award-winning series devoted to helping you, the caregiver, cope with your caregiving responsibilities and to teach the practical skills you need to provide the best care possible. It has won numerous accolades from leading experts in the field, including a National Award from Mature Media.

Through interviews and demonstrations, experienced caregivers and health care professionals provide invaluable tips and explain the proper procedures of caregiving tasks, making caregiving easier for those young and old alike. Each DVD has been edited into short, stand-alone sections to fit into your busy schedule.

Alzheimer’s | Dementia

The 36-Hour Day, fifth edition: The 36-Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People Who Have Alzheimer Disease, Related Dementias, and Memory Loss (A Johns Hopkins Press Health Book) 5th (fifth) edition [affiliate link], by Nancy L. Mace, M.A. and Peter V. Rabins, M.D. and M.P.H. Despite the dozens of similar books that are now available, The 36-Hour Day is still the best-selling guide for caring for someone with dementia. Now in it’s fifth edition, everything’s covered, from managing the beginning stages of the disease, to finding more appropriate living arrangements when living at home is no longer an option.
Kindle edition available

Alzheimer’s from the Inside Out [affiliate link] Dr. Richard Taylor is a rare person with Alzheimer’s who offers a glimpse into an unfathomable existence. In short essays, he speaks eloquently and poignantly about the confusion, losses, and frustrations produced in a person’s daily life, personal relationships, and deepest identity by this ravaging disease.
Kindle edition available

On Pluto: Inside the Mind of Alzheimer’s [affiliate link] A journalist for more than 35 years, Greg O’Brien uses his reporting skills to investigate and document his journey through dementia, just as he would any other journalistic story. His memoir gives us a glimpse of the devastating disease from an insider’s perspective.
Kindle edition available

Surviving Alzheimer’s: Practical tips and soul-saving wisdom for caregivers [affiliate link] What every family member of a loved one with dementia needs to know: How to help without sacrificing YOU. In Surviving Alzheimer’s you’ll find:

  • The best, most current thinking on how to enhance quality of life and safety while minimizing stress on everyone involved.
  • The “Why This, Try This” approach to understanding what’s behind odd, frustrating behaviors — and what you can do about them.
  • How to defuse resentment, guilt, anger, and family friction.
  • Lifesaving insights from a team of top dementia-care experts from geriatrics, psychiatry, social work, law, dementia therapy, and caregiver advocacy.
  • Stories and ideas from real families.

Kindle edition available

Learning to Speak Alzheimer’s: A Groundbreaking Approach for Everyone Dealing with the Disease [affiliate link] Revolutionizing the way we perceive and live with Alzheimer’s, the author, Joanne Koenig Coste, offers a practical approach to the emotional well-being of both patients and caregivers that emphasizes relating to patients in their own reality. Her comprehensive method, which she calls habilitation, works to enhance communication between carepartners and patients and has proven successful with thousands of people living with dementia. Learning to Speak Alzheimer’s also offers hundreds of practical tips, including how to …
Kindle edition available

“Challenging Behaviors in Dementia Care” with Care Expert Teepa Snow [affiliate link] This is the latest in a series of 13 (so far) videos released by Teepa Snow and produced by The Pines Education Institute of SW Florida. Teepa is one of America’s leading educators on dementia. Her care philosophy is reflective of her education, work experience, available medical research, and first hand caregiving interactions. Her wealth of experience gleaned over 30 years has led her to develop Positive Approach™ to Care techniques and training models that now are used by families and professionals working or living with dementia throughout the world.

Her other videos in this series include:

Alzheimer’s Dementia Hands-On Caregiving DVD: “It’s All In Your Approach” with Care Expert Teepa Snow

Alzheimer’s Dementia Activities DVD: “Filling the Day with Meaning” with Teepa Snow, MS, OTR/L, FAOTA

Alzheimer’s Dementia Hands-On Care DVD: “The Art of Caregiving” with Care Expert Teepa Snow

“Lewy Body Dementia: It Isn’t Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s Disease-What Everyone Needs to Know” with Teepa Snow

Alzheimer’s Dementia Care DVD: “Progression of Dementia: Seeing Gems – Not Just Loss” with Teepa Snow, MS, OTR/L, FAOTA

“Understanding Frontotemporal Dementias (FTDs)” 2-DVD Set with Dementia Trainer Teepa Snow

Alzheimer’s Dementia Caregiving DVD: “The Journey of Dementia” with Teepa Snow, MS, OTR/L, FAOTA

“End of Life Care & Letting Go” with Alzheimer’s Dementia Expert Teepa Snow

“Improving Emergency Services for Dementia Patients” with Alzheimer’s Dementia Expert Teepa Snow

“Dental Care for People with Dementia” with Alzheimer’s Dementia Expert Teepa Snow, MS, OTR/L, FAOTA

“Maintain Your Brain: Dementia Risk Reduction & Life After Diagnosis” with Teepa Snow

“The Inevitable Hospital Stay – How to Advocate for Your Loved One with Dementia” with Teepa Snow

The Family Guide to Alzheimer’s Disease: 5 DVD Set [affiliate link] For many families, Alzheimer’s means a gradually diminishing quality of life both for the sufferer and caregivers. All too often, the disease has led to isolation — and even a certain social stigma. It can impose psychological and emotional burdens just as heavy as the physical ones.

“The Family Guide to Alzheimer’s Disease” was created to help families understand what to expect; how to deal effectively with the challenge of this disease; how to help their loved ones meet each day more successfully; and how to improve the quality of life for all involved.

Volume 1 | Understanding Alzheimer’s | 62 minutes

• Overview of Dementia/Alzheimer’s Disease
• Symptoms
• Diagnosis
• Stages of Alzheimer’s
• Treatment
• Telling Others
• Patient perspective

Volume 2 | Behavior Issues | 67 minutes

• Overview
• Agitation
• Hallucinations
• Wandering
• Sleeplessness/Sundowning
• Incontinence
• Inappropriate Actions
• Redirection
• Fiblets

Volume 3 | Daily Life | 42 minutes

• Home Environment
• Driving
• Adult Emotions
• Communication
• Daily Routine

Volume 4 | Family Caregiving | 62 minutes

• Role of the Caregiver
• Taking Care of Yourself
• Accepting Support
• Respite
• Sexual Relationships
• Family Relationships
• Activities of Daily Living (ADLs)
• Eating
• Bathing
• Dressing

Volume 5 | Transitions | 44 minutes

• Social Activities
• Spiritual Issues
• Care Facilities
• Grief

Money | Legal

Everyday Law for Seniors: Updated with the Latest Federal Benefits [affiliate link], by Lawrence A. Frolik and Linda S. Whitton, expert attorneys of elder law. Comprehensive and clearly written in language everyone can understand, it guides you through the most critical issues involved in growing older. It’s a valuable resource whether you’re looking for information for your own use, or to help your aging parents.

Narcissists

Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life [affiliate link], by Linda Martinez-Lewi, PhD. Are you in a relationship with a narcissistic mother or father, brother or sister, aunt or uncle, in-law or a self-absorbed boss? This indispensable guide will help you recognize, cope with, and ultimately overcome their destructive behavior, protect yourself, maintain your sanity and heal.
Kindle edition available

The Sociopath Next Door [affiliate link], by Martha Stout, PhD. As Dr. Stout explains, sociopaths are highly-skilled, compulsive liars who totally lack remorse for their actions. They can be the most charming person you’ve ever met, but use their charm only to get what they want. They have no empathy or affectionate feelings for other people, and are often characterized as “pure evil.” Discover how to identify them and how to protect yourself from their viciousness.
Kindle edition available

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family [affiliate link], by Eleanor D. Payson, M.S.W. This book will help you recognize and confront the reality of narcissists, a first step toward nullifying their power and influence over your life. The author helps you understand how you enable your own narcissist, and most importantly, how to begin undoing their damage and move on. Ms. Payson includes a description of 9 pitfalls and traps that narcissists use to keep their victims dependent upon them.
Kindle edition available

Toxic Parents

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life [affiliate link], by Dr. Susan Forward. All parents fall short from time to time. But Susan Forward pulls no punches when it comes to those whose personality disorders cripple their children emotionally. Her brisk, unreserved guide to overcoming the degrading agony of parental manipulation — from power trips to guilt trips and all other killers of self-esteem — will help deal with the pain of childhood and move beyond the frustrating relationship patterns.
Kindle edition available

Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You [affiliate link], by Dr. Susan Forward. “If you really loved me…” “After all I’ve done for you…” “How can you be so selfish…” Does this sound familiar? They’re all examples of emotional blackmail, a powerful form of manipulation in which people close to us threaten to punish us for not doing what they want. Susan Forward presents the anatomy of a relationship damaged by manipulation, and gives readers the tools to fight back.

Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers [affiliate link], by Dr. Karyl McBride. This is the first book specifically for daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved, narcissistic mothers. As adults, these daughters have difficulty overcoming their own insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, sadness, and emotional emptiness. This book will help you recognize and understand your own experience with maternal narcissism, how it has affected all aspects of your life, and show you how to reclaim your life for yourself.
Kindle edition available

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